I don’t expect normally that women will be more submissive. I believe it’s a bias which could have been introduced in this case, because of this presentation, without people being aware – an expectation, rather than an actual truth.

Unfortunately, we tend to see what we expect, and as a society, already have large doses of this expectation:
http://www.wisebread.com/why-women-dont-negotiate

Adding more bias to this won’t help anyone’s cause, I’m afraid!

At some point I’ll write an article about Systems Thinking and the men’s rights movement too. It isn’t a one-way street, by any means.

well, you might expect men to be more ‘dominant’ among other things i found your opinion up to this set of associations quite exciting and insightful until i got to this line. ive been told im a pretty attractive guy by by both women AND MEN. its not that im naturally submissive, i just have this thing where i cannot be assertive until certain formalities have been exchanged, or im positive that my view has relevance.

In my opinion I expect or wish women would be more dominant in the work place, because of the way men and harassment are understood in the present work state, I will many times unconsciously go to significant lengths to avoid my actions being interpreted as harassment, where in the future after i or she had moved on to different things but reconnected, I find out she thought i thought she was repulsive or something as she sighted these different times where she ‘put it out there’ and I just completely ignored it. Truth is, at some level i saw it, but there have been countless other times where I saw it and I was wrong.

On the contrary, I cant think of how many times ive had unwanted advances… especially when i was the team lead and the girl very attractive, but given the company policy i simply turned that part of me off yet the problem only escalated to the point where I simply quit… it was too complex to explain to HR, I mean i could have yet it was equally embarrassing, and i was at a confusing point in my life and i just didnt come back after i had enough and took a good long break.

one more thing, “You might cause the women around you start dressing in less feminine ways, to distance themselves from any association.”
well, what if they (the girls and women) start dressing in more feminine ways, and not only that but doing things like dropping a pen or something as they pass me as im sitting giving me a perfect view while giving me a quick ?!1 glance… and i sit and think is she looking at me like that because she thinks i was looking up her skirt as she bent over because i definitely only glanced just to make sure everything was OK but omg this whole harassment thing i sometimes think being a eunuch would be better so i can just do the work im getting paid for so i can go home and use the money i work for to act in ways not suitable for work.

OKOK i know im rambling but yeah theres definitely some reverse issues that need attention, like for instance what do i do when this guy who has stated he was gay constantly trys to tweak my chest jokingly yet I do not know if its a joke or what but it causes…. AH F* THIS YALL ALL NEED TO STOP FINDING EXCUSES TO BE THE VICTIM…. ah or not im so tired of this.

but thank you for your article, i appreciate the way in which you defined associations since it is a solid fundamental yet many and most do not or cannot understand this concept at any level, but the way in which you put it has much relevance to the average mind.

I rather agree with Tinco. Women who choose to be porn stars aren’t necessarily victims, and its a bit condescending to suggest otherwise. The real issue here has less to do with gender equality I feel, then it has to do with our puritanical western culture that has historically found the subject of sex somewhat uncomfortable.

As for Matts judgment, I believe it was poor. Given that he is well aware of the social sensitivities he should have found another device other then sex to provide his audience a cheap thrill. He should of also have apologised unreservedly.

As a man, I would not be offending in the least if a female colleague chose to wear a T-shirt to work with a figure of a half naked male hunk on it. I may feel a little inadequate, but definitely not offended.

Female sexuality has been controlled for decades. In many ways our attempts to marginalise and control porn is yet another way of controlling women and how they choose to utilise their bodies. After all if men are stupid enough to pay, then I would say that the men are the victims not the women.

The feminist movement managed to some how find themselves on the same side as the puritanicals. There are many post feminists who see this as a mistake. Both Male and female sexuality are legitimate, and whilst I agree that the workplace or a software conference aren’t the right place to explore our sexual urges, I don’t believe that sex itself should some how be taboo.

Interestingly, naked women are used to sell all sorts of things all the time, beamed into our homes and in the media at large. The strength of the reaction in this context does point to something interesting, but I don’t believe that it has anything to do with psychology, I would put it down to culture and our social taboos on what is acceptable in the workplace.

Paul.

Using the words “I’m sorry” in a sentence does not make an apology. Neither does saying “I didn’t mean to offend and I’m sorry if I did”. An apology has to accept that the behavior was wrong on its face and won’t be repeated. I have yet to see such an apology.

Your arguments about focusing on professionalism and respecting ability etc. would be great, if we actually had that equality to start with. We don’t. Measurements suggest we’re still lagging behind men in pay, promotion and respect.

However, your thoughts regarding the technical insights and their presentation can still be valid – it’s possible to support each “agenda”, if that term is even applicable, without discounting the other. (And it may not only be men who agree with you there.)

I don’t know exactly, but the majority of posts from female writers on the issue have been overtly feminist? I guess? I’m just trying to say that some people are turning this into a woman’s suffrage thing, which is fine, you don’t need my permission to do it. But I don’t think that’s where the majority of disapproval against his behavior is coming from. Obvioulsy, you are free to use any issue to push your own agenda.

@dgou
I believe focusing on professionalism, and respecting professional ability regardless of the source, would keep the field open to women without explicitly mentioning women. I’m not a big fan of ‘the first woman in bla’ awards, though I believe ‘greatest person in bla’ should be handed to anyone with the qualification. Dealing with professionals in the field with respect and courtesy also follow naturally, and that too shouldn’t be contingent on your race or gender. Just be nice :p