are rarely loved
they grow on tree’s
when their not shoved
out of the word’s
wots their’s by right
its not a very
it isnt all
they’re fault, you know,
they aint got nowhere
else to go.
If this resembles your lovingly crafted documentation / guide to your hobby / tutorial / code comment, you may want to enlist the help of a proof-reader. Here’s a quick guide:
- its – like his or hers, which also have no apostrophes, means “belonging to it”.
- it’s – like I’m, you’re, he’s, she’s, we’re and they’re, which have apostrophes for the missing letters, means “it is”.
- apostrophe’s – means “belonging to the apostrophe”. This kind of abuse is known as “the greengrocer’s apostrophe”, as some greengrocers suffer from the mistaken belief that a carrot is capable of owning 20p.
- would of – I think you want to use “would have”, or at worst “would’ve”. If you use this phrase and grew up in Luton I forgive you; otherwise there’s just no excuse. This is the phrase which sparked this little rant so I thought it worth including.
Most people are capable of glossing over things like this, but unfortunately there are a few of us who are allergic to them. It causes this glitch in our brains which makes us scream and bang our heads on the table; the only cure is to discuss the problem at length with everyone else in the office. Please help prevent this utter waste of time and resources by remembering these few simple rules (particularly rule 1).