Ten Tips for the Agile Martian Coach

  1. Communication is important. Ensure that your Martian has a working translator. Provide expletive vocabulary as required.
  2. All Martians look alike. All humans look alike. Wear name badges and teach each other how to pronounce them.
  3. Remember that alcohol may have unexpected side-effects when fed to extra-terrestrial life forms.
  4. At brown bag lunches, prevent your Martian from eating the brown bag. The extra fibre will not be conducive to a good working relationship.
  5. On no account should you tell your Martian that there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
  6. Your Martian may have a higher technical capability than you do. Make careful notes of anything that he produces which seems to break the laws of physics.
  7. Resist the temptation to use time travel to go backwards and give yourself more time to meet important deadlines.
  8. Resist the temptation to use time travel to go forwards and recover the repository from the future, saving yourself the effort of writing all that code.
  9. Some tools are more appropriate for each job than others. There is no job which requires a sub-ether laser set to “annihilate”.
  10. Be careful of misunderstandings when teaching your Martian to pair.
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2 Responses to Ten Tips for the Agile Martian Coach

  1. anonymous says:

    I disagree Liz, on the subject of irritating mobile phones, a sub-ether laser set to annihilate is one of a vast array of highly appropriate tools šŸ˜›

    Chris

  2. sirenian says:

    Methinks you confuse work with pleasure. šŸ™‚

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