If you can scan your threads when all around you
Are searching for the last response they knew
If you can kill the spammers with a button
While others must select a different view
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
For others to get round to their replies
If email’s not the greatest thing you’re hating
And others’ weary rants are a surprise

If you don’t need to dream of working faster
And swift communication is your game
If you believe that emailing your master
And mastering your email are the same
If you can find the words that you have spoken
Within the folders chosen by your rules
If you can fix the email list that’s broken
Without the need to curse your dodgy tools

If you can start again from the beginning
And find out that your draft is not yet lost
If you must fight your inbox and you’re winning
Without your leisure time bearing the cost
If you find others accidentally bin you
Or cc you in mails they forward on
If you can laugh and even find it in you
To help discover where they might have gone

If typos with control keys never hurt you
And buttons don’t exist you fear to touch
If sanity and reason don’t desert you
When all the mailing lists become too much
If you find you can spend a single minute
And get some useful work done while you’re free
Yours is the Net and everything that’s in it –
And I guess you use a different client to me!